We cannot get in the midst of someone else's pain - really in the trench of grief with them - and not come out unscathed. Sometimes, the cost of ensuring our child knows they are not alone is feeling incredibly alone ourselves. It can be hard, but there is a truth greater than the facts we face every day: Jesus is with us, and He is for us. 

In the midst of challenges, sometimes it helps to be reminded of truth. Truth that compels us. Truth that challenges us. Truth that sustains us. Truth that empowers us.

Sometimes, as foster and adoptive parents, we need to be reminded of simple truths. Not because we don't know them, but because we've been immersed in loving our people, advocating for the needs of others, and working through grief, trauma, and loss with our precious kiddos. If you find yourself in need of refreshing, this one is for you.

We've all seen the studies regarding the increase of stress coinciding with the influx of screens and social media in our society. We are busier than ever with practices, extra curriculars, volunteering, work from home jobs, and keeping up with the Joneses. Modern conveniences cut down the time required for some necessary tasks, but instead of using that time to invest in relationships and eternity, we find more tasks to fill our time. Or maybe that's just me...

During National Adoption Month, I wrote 13 guest posts regarding various adoption related topics. This is a round up of those posts - which I hope will bless and encourage you! There are posts for adoptive families, waiting families, prospective adoptive families, those who want to help orphans without adopting, and those who simply want to draw closer to Jesus!

Research indicates trauma not only effects a person’s memories and emotions, but can also alter the physical state of their brain. Every child that has been adopted has experienced trauma. Even infants, who leave the hospital in the arms of their adoptive parents, experience trauma through the loss of their biological family.

The forwarded email arrived at the beginning of December. I was a work at home, homeschooling momma juggling a ten-month-old, two preschoolers, and two school-aged children. Our lives were full, exciting, and maybe just a tad chaotic.

“In case you’re ready…” was the only line in the email. A good friend, who I met during our first adoption from foster care, had forwarded a flier for a little guy our state was recruiting a family for. I laughed hysterically, and immediately texted her.

Every adoption is born out of two things: trauma and loss. For an infant, who leaves the hospital in the arms of their loving parents – there is trauma and loss. For a toddler, who cannot verbalize their past and calls their new parents ‘Mommy’ and ‘Daddy’ right away – there is trauma and loss. For a school aged child who for the first time is living as a child instead of as a fill-in parent – there is trauma and loss. For a teen, who finally has someone to provide their needs – there is trauma and loss.
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Often, adoption is either romanticized or criminalized. The truth is, it is both beautiful and hard. Adoption should be a story of trauma, loss, and grief that is met with love, compassion, and healing.

In the adoption world, words like security, stability, and routine are used frequently. For families that experience frequent – and sometimes, unplanned – change, this can seem daunting. But the most critical components of these things are found in the relationship between children and their caregivers, not circumstances.

November is National Adoption Month. It's a time where, as a nation, we focus on the orphan crisis and the role each of us can play in caring for orphans. This month is especially dear to our family, as we celebrate our sons, and advocate for other children. 

I get it - those big brown eyes look up at you. Something pulls on your heart strings. Maybe it's the smile - or the dimple - or your belief that this child who was once an orphan is in desperate need of your affection. I understand it's well intentioned, and as such, I wanted to let you know what many adoptive parents are thinking when you approach our kids and begin treating them like the animals on an SPCA commercial featuring Sarah McClachlan: please don't.