"Battle weary." "Parenting in the trenches." "Remember, your fight isn't you against your child, but you and your child against their pain." They're common phrases for foster and adoptive parents, meant to encourage and offer solidarity. But there's something more: adoption and foster care are spiritual warfare.

​"Mom," I asked through tears, "how can I possibly do everything the experts suggest??"

​For the past three months, things have been tough with one of our kiddos. Past trauma and current realities have danced in ways that leave us all pretty tired at the end of the day. I had a stack of adoption and trauma related books, a highlighter, and pen sitting out - determined to figure out what we needed to change to make things better.

Parents of children with attachment issues often need to hear this reminder: Your child's attachment issues are not a direct reflection of you, your parenting, or any type of lack or failure on your part.

In the midst of challenges, sometimes it helps to be reminded of truth. Truth that compels us. Truth that challenges us. Truth that sustains us. Truth that empowers us.

Sometimes, as foster and adoptive parents, we need to be reminded of simple truths. Not because we don't know them, but because we've been immersed in loving our people, advocating for the needs of others, and working through grief, trauma, and loss with our precious kiddos. If you find yourself in need of refreshing, this one is for you.

1991
I trudged to the front of the group, my palms clammy and heart racing. The gym was overcrowded with sweaty kids, a typical 90’s summer day club. The promise of good times and trying new activities had become disillusioned for me quite early on. My quiet, slightly pudgy 7-year-old self had won the attention of the camp director. And since attention was neither appreciated nor desired, dread—not laughter—filled my summer days.
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I wasn’t surprised I had been called to the front. Several weeks had conditioned me for what was going to happen as I approached the grown up holding the microphone.​

We've all seen the studies regarding the increase of stress coinciding with the influx of screens and social media in our society. We are busier than ever with practices, extra curriculars, volunteering, work from home jobs, and keeping up with the Joneses. Modern conveniences cut down the time required for some necessary tasks, but instead of using that time to invest in relationships and eternity, we find more tasks to fill our time. Or maybe that's just me...

Can you imagine a hope that does not disappoint? One that anchors your soul and secures your spirit? A hope that rises above the highest height and plummets below the deepest depth? Hope so unmovable, unshakable, and unchangeable that through great joy, heart wrenching grief, and the everyday mundane in between, it holds you steady? 

Prayer. It's talked and written about often. We know it's an essential part of our lives as followers of God. But do we truly understand the necessity of it - specifically in fostercare and adoption? Today, we'll be talking about what prayer is, why we should embrace it, and how we can utilize it.

This week, we are skipping right to verse 14. It's a verse that many may never associate with parenting. But if you have ever parented a child with attachment issues, or whose trauma prevents them from fully connecting - then you understand intimately how critical this verse is in parenting children from hard places.