anchoring steadfast hope in fostercare and adoption.

Can you imagine a hope that does not disappoint? One that anchors your soul and secures your spirit? A hope that rises above the highest height and plummets below the deepest depth? Hope so unmovable, unshakable, and unchangeable that through great joy, heart wrenching grief, and the everyday mundane in between, it holds you steady? 

shoddy places to anchor that don't hold fast.

Each of us is born with an innate desire to hope, love, and be loved. When we ask Jesus to be our Lord and Savior, we are proclaiming our need for Him to rescue us from our sin - and from our very selves. When our flesh goes about fulfilling our God-given desires ​with anything other than God's sufficiency and provision, we find ourselves placing hope in shoddy anchors that won't hold fast.

Some common places we seek hope, but shouldn't:

• Our circumstances. These change easily, unexpectedly, and unfortunately, sometimes tragically. When our hope is resting in our circumstances being 'right,' we are at the mercy of not only everything around us, but everything within us - our emotions and perceptions.
• Our emotions. Feeling hopeful is a wonderful thing. But it cannot be the only thing. Hope that springs eternal doesn't waiver because of rejection, fear, or grief. 
• Our spouses. While God created marriage to be a reflection of His love for the church, He never intended it to be a substitute for our relationship with Him. When we place our hope in our spouse, we are putting an unfair burden and expectation on them to meet a need only God can. This is not only disappointing to us, but damaging to our marriages. 
• Our children. Placing our hope in our children is an unrealistic expectation and tremendous weight. Similar to placing hope in a spouse, this erroneous assignment of responsibility is not only disappointing, but unfair and potentially damaging for our children. For children from hard places, this weight is especially dangerous. It hinders our children's ability to grow, learn, and heal when they are attempting to fulfill a role on God can fill.
• Our good intentions or actions. Our obedience to Jesus does not go unnoticed by Him. His promises are yes and amen - and there are many for those who walk in obedience to His word! However, we must be vigilant against shifting our hope from God, and the fulfillment of His promises, to our own productivity, sacrifice, or works.
• Our dreams being fulfilled. Even if the dreams of our heart are God given, they can become idols if we place our hope in them, instead of the dream Giver.

None of the above things are wrong, in and of themselves. They simply aren't a secure place to anchor our hope - especially when the waves of grief, loss, triggers, abandonment, attachment, and diagnosis begin to rage. 

Romans 5:5 NKJV

who our hope is anchored in.

Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, He confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.

Our hope is only steadfast and secure when anchored in Jesus. There is no alternative or substitute. He, alone, anchors us firm and secure. 

​Father God was so intent on us knowing where we could safely place our trust that He made an oath regarding it. He, the Creator of the Universe and Author and Perfecter of our faith sought to encourage us in this very thing. Paul writes clearly that our forerunner - the One who went before us in to the inner sanctuary - went there on our behalf.

​He came, He lived, He died, He rose, He ascended, He entered - all on our behalf. He is unchangeable, unmovable, unshakable, and unfailing. Which is precisely what we need to anchor us.

how to let down the anchor.

Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Hebrews 6:17-20

So we know hope IS the anchor, and Jesus is where we are placing it​. But how? It seems the simplest things can be the most daunting - and I'd venture to say it's because they hold the most weight. How can it be that there is a simple solution to feeling hopeless and distraught in the midst of parenting in the trenches??

Because we serve a good God who made a way. He didn't over complicate things in an attempt to make us earn our way. He fully paid the price of our salvation, not to watch us toil, but to rescue us. 

For parents who are loving on kiddos from hard places, it's imperative to understand connected parenting. Allowing a child the time to trust, while actively building that relationship through connecting with them intentionally. Where does this model of parenting come from? Many may attribute it to individuals who did research and training and years of therapy development. And while those people have done tremendous things for the fostercare and adoption communities, the reality is the pattern for connected parenting comes directly from God. 

When we remember how passionately He loves us, and how much He has already done, we can believe that this way He made for anchoring our hope is truly as simple as letting down the weight of our hope settle in the truth of Who God is: He is love. 

How has hope played a role in your parenting? Has a lack of hope left you feeling defeated and alone? Can I pray with and for you about something? I'd love to hear from you in the comments! If you haven't already signed up for the free webinar, Foster Care & Adoption: Starting the Journey Out Right, click the button below!

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